Some of you have been waiting for a little while and told me you're still interested in my life updates, so here is one. (sorry if it's a little bit to read)
Just returned from 3rd psychiatrist appointment.
first of all, I've been a little bit more mentally stable these past weeks, distracting myself with new things as well as some drawing, (will post later today)
First appointment, we talked about my issues and what I feel causes them and getting to know about my past.
Second appointment, I took more tests and then we talked about the tests I took.
Today, we talked more in depth of my issues and future plans.
I was told I should think about taking a break from helping my mom, sisters and aunt so I can take more care of myself, I don't like the idea but my psyciatrist told me I put more time into caring for others than I do with myself (I don't think I do? but when I look back at things, it may be hard to admit it's true)
I don't feel happy if I know my family and friends aren't happy so I do all in my power to try help where I can and it makes me feel better, knowing they're better.
I hate to talk about myself like this as I feel like I sound more self centered if I just talk about myself.
But I guess this is how we figure out what really is wrong with me and ways to make my life a little bit better at least.
So I was also given a homework, to write a detailed beginner plan I need to do then build up from that, since I basically live a life without a plan, and that means I got no system, which means I throw myself on autopilot more frequently.
I guess I am scared of changes, because I've been disappointed so many times in my life, so the thought of me having to get a car license and move out to a different city or country scares me because I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, and my psychiatrist told me I should focus more on today and tomorrow, than things weeks, months or years into the future because that hasn't happened yet.
So until my next appointment, I'll be writing a detailed plan which I will act upon to steer my life in the right direction as a start.
I am also afraid for posting these updates because I feel like I am disappointing some of you that I post "just words" instead of drawings or animations, the things I am actually known for, not my life issues.
So I am sorry.
I am working on some projects to post on here, it takes a little bit longer because of my mental health.
-Leto